i'm supposed to bathe now, but i'm tempted to blog and pen my thoughts down. and so i gave in and logged into this space i've abandoned for a while, due to my busyness and tiredness.

the past few weeks of my absence have been, well, manic. i don't know how to describe it (but i'm supposed to, aren't i, since this IS a blog where i try to express myself), but it's been very much of a whirlwind. work picked up at quick speed, as if a hurricane came and swept up everything in its path... the hurricane that is Time. and i look back and thought of how i raved about my job, how much i loved it, and got slightly disheartened, thinking how naive i was, standing at the brim of the sea and marveling at its shallow parts by the shore. and i began to feel the fatigue that so many working people must be feeling almost everyday, wishing for the weekend to come or the day to simply end, when i'd shut my eyes and be able to steal some rest. 2 weeks ago, i fell sick, had a bad cough, bloody phlegm (it's as gross as it sounds, believe me), shivers and all the makings of a cold. i had fever till the day before my sister's wedding - yes, the other sister - and even lost my voice. but God was good and i was well enough to emcee for her big day with hamster, and didn't have fever from that day onwards. but i was still tired, and for the whole of last week had constrictions in my airway which made it difficult to breathe.

but before you throw fifty-cent pounds (HAHA, inside joke) my way, i'd like to reassure that i'm better now, and things are looking up. the madness that is work ended today (at least, for a while), and i cleared all i was responsible for, for the current moment. i feel as if i lost 10kg off my shoulders. people around me who had been falling sick too are recovering, and that makes me feel relieved. although, well, the event on sunday is coming up, and my weekend's burnt, yes. and oh, no volunteers want to help me. but somehow, i know that God will provide, because He is in control and won't let me die, hapless, on sunday. haha. no really.

and if you ask me if i'm still disillusioned by work, well, i think every day i'm trying to see things from a positive perspective. and i mean it when i say i do it every day; it's definitely not easy. 2 nights ago i was feeling overwhelmed with work, and just before i slept, decided to flop onto my bed and listened to some chris tomlin to refresh my soul. and i listened to 'Be Thou my vision', 'Be Thou near to me' and 'How can i keep from singing'.

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

- How can i keep from singing

and suddenly i had peace, and i knew that i would have the strength to see me through the next day, and the next week, and the next month. God will see me through! (phew!)

and so whenever i'm tired, i just keep on keeping on, with this song in mind. :)



jiayou, my friends!